Well, in life, there are times which piss you off, irritate, and really anger you to the point of nuclear explosion. Then a few years later you look back and think, well that was actually rather funny.

And so to the incident in question.

About two years ago in October, I was in the flat I rented, and listening to music, trying not to be depressed about my lack of money, job or prospects, when I heard the local population braying and cavorting. Now normally this would not matter, the local population were and still are inbred Munters (with some exceptions) and the near riots and general idiocy, were of no concern to my troubled mind. However I find on occasion, it is wise to see what the chavs are up to, and to get a nice mug of tea. And so I journeyed to the kitchen, were I looked out of the window at the crowd below, as I looked I noticed a pulsing orange light reflecting off my and other cars, this piqued my interest, and I took greater interest in what they were doing, and wondered were the light came from. So I opened up the window to have a better look at the crowd and cars below, I scanned both up, and down the street, looking for the source of the light, I could not find it, so I had a little think about the light reflecting of my car. And then a little thought occurred to me, it was not reflecting off my car. The light was coming from my car.

It was on fire.

It took a little while to percolate through my brain.

My car was on fire.

I ran. through the hall, down the stairs, past the doors, and down the street, going past the crowd to my burning car, and noticing it had thankfully subdued. I patted it down with my hand as forcefully as possible, and eventually, and painfully I put it out.

I drove off there and then into the night, and finding a safe place to park I inspected the damage. Thankfully not much, a burnt number plate(rather difficult to replace actually) and a damaged bumper, and something else.

Some act of charity had put out the flames with what at first I thought was water, however a closer inspection brought a familiar tang to my nostrils.

Piss, I could smell urine, all I could think is that the fates had produced a convergence of needs, my desire for the fire to go out.

And some ones need to piss.

It was. And I hope. The only time I will be thank full, of another mans piss on my hands.