Cartoons

Recently I have discovered that cartoons are not just funny. They can also cause your death.
A bit like cigarettes, a flush of momentary pleasure followed by death.
Yes it’s the old problem of the Mohammed cartoons. Those naughty Danes. The Muslims have really cooked their bacon, which is odd when you think about it.
I of course know and understand that all religions are basically bollocks. But I should point out that is religions NOT god. God has been ok by me. And his message of peace and be nice to one another is on the whole a good idea. The prophet Mohammed is also ok by me because again he say’s be nice to one another just like god does.
So why do these people insist on being violent? Yes you can get angry, be annoyed but killing people is not what any faith wants or condones. It would appear you only listen to your rage not your faith. If you believe then what should you care?
You are being nice to people and god likes that and will reward you.
Of course you can also sue.

However lets put this into perspective all around the world certain people have taken these cartoons as a flash point between east and west. However these cartoons where also published in an Egyptian paper in October last year.
Was there a great outpouring of fatwa’s and flag burnings?
No. Not one in fact nothing happened

We are all insane (A minority of one)

What makes a good blog?

I read a lot of bogs and I have been trying to find out what makes a good blog.
Is it facts? Well some blogs are not factual except maybe in the bloggers head.
Is it humour well some are very funny and do not seem to attract much attention, while others which people think are humorous are to me quite dull.
The reason I am thinking about it is because I get very few comments. Perhaps I am dull or just plain crap, maybe what I write about holds no interest or does not ring true not that seems to bother many other blogs.
Maybe I do not write enough, but some blogs do not post for ages and still get comments.

Now what bought this on? Why am I thinking about this?
Now in my life I have never pursued cool. Now that does not mean? I do not dress poorly or have body issues.
It just seemed the more Cool somebody was the less interesting they became, as they spent too much time being cool and usually lost the plot.

But perhaps I am trying now to pursue cool. A strange concept indeed a kind of geek chic as lets face it cool people in the world do not do blogs (if I am wrong do say!) they are too busy being "Cool".

Maybe I write this blog to be noticed, and have people say- you know charley you are right, maybe that is why I do not get many comments, everyone who reads my blog agrees completely with my point of view.

If this is so maybe my thoughts are not pure and I blog for my needy and self centred ego. I just want to be noticed excepted and loved. (A bit like the vogon captain in hitchhikers guide but do not fret i will not spout poetry)

So is a good blog about pleasing others and I should write things that other people find funny, if so why blog at all it is supposed to be your voice funny or not.
But as George Orwell said “madness is a minority of one”

Job interviews

I am going for a job interview in the next week or so. They are in my opinion a necessary evil. But here I go again. I must of course clean my suit, polish my shoes, get a hair cut and prepare for the interview by investigating the company so I know all about them. This is the tame stuff as the real work begins the moment they speak and I must answer, and thus begins my dilemma as I find people in interviews to be odd, as I have to get on with people who as Holden Caulfield would put it are phonies. This is because telling people the truth can be the worst thing to do. I must gen up on all the yuck speak and must make it sound professional. Blah blah blah.
I remind my self that I must not lie, unless telling the truth would cost me the job. But thankfully I am a good liar.
Of course when I mean lie I do not mean to make false facts up etc. I mean to lie as to make big incidences which would mean never working for them seem at best minor hiccups, whilst at the same time making coffee runs seem the most important function within my division. I most be proactive i.e. I do stuff and be on the cutting edge. I must be a team player but be capable of working alone. Everything must always be good as I have learnt that I must make even Armageddon seem like a minor thing that will pass quickly.

Ho hum

what to blog

I have been trying to think about what I should blog. Recently however the cup has not exactly run over with insight. I have no wisdom to impart no knowledge to give. No insightfull point of view to make us all stop and say "thats so inspiring i wish I had thought of that"

On the other hand in my dreams I am being followed.

My paranoia is just fine.

Blog problems

Recently I have had blog problems. So I screamed and shouted. And once my rational side took over I screamed and shouted in a more logical manner. Finally I got a book read it and worked out the problem. My learning days have yet to cease and one of the more delightful things, as one gets older is it never ends. In fact I have come to realise I actually know less now than I did when I left college. So have I forgotten stuff? No I have just realised that when you leave college ETC you think you know everything but as the years pass you realise you know absolutely nothing.

Now some would find that depressing.
But not me. Realising this actually made me feel better, I no longer get frustrated when something does not work. Instead I just have to acknowledge that I am pig ignorant and must read about it and speak to others who know.
This has reduced my stress levels immensely.
Now some people think that this makes me weak and May mock or deride me. But I have come to realise these people are stupid, unlike me who is ignorant.

So in many ways accepting you knows nothing is the first step to knowing something.

Iranian problems and american problems

So President Bush says America must reduce its oil dependency. This of course is going to be as easy as the heroin users in America going cold turkey. In fact its going to be harder, after all in the 70's oil crisis they said the same thing and look at us now, still consuming and in fact using more oil. So in the end this talk has a lot to live up to and with thirty years of saying this and not doing it I am doubtful.

Iran does seem to have a death wish at the moment. Now it cannot in my opinion do anything to us at the moment. But for the leadership of the west this is irrelevant, strike first is the order of the day and how can I blame them?
Of course after President bush's desire to control their dependency on oil perhaps Iran is thinking the same thing?
Who knows?

Pot

I have been told that pot makes your brain capacity diminish. Yet recently in the news a tunnel was found that went from Tijuana across the border to san Diego with over two tonnes of the stuff jammed in there. In fact since 2001 almost 21 tunnels have been found.

Mentally diminished my ass. Judged on this evidence perhaps we should all take a little. Perhaps bush and Blair could discuss with hamas the Middle East and perhaps mellow out. In fact the only bad thing that could happen in this peace process is an attack of the munchies.

Of course if certain drugs were legalised we would have the press castigate and hound politicians not because they took drugs. But because they did not take drugs.

Elections

So Hamas may soon be in charge of a country. How odd a bunch of suicidal maniacs should be in charge in rebuilding a country it tried so well to blow up bits of.
Not at all like our politicians and countries.
Not at all like the right wing religious fundamentalist president bush.
Not at all like the left wing (?) Prime Minister Tony Blair who supports president bush in blowing up countries.

What have they got in common? The people voted them all in. Thats right you and me together.
We are not like those poor deranged souls who went in and elected a party who has terrorised people for 20+ years.
Oh no not at all.
We are morons to put into power those who try their best to kill us.

Online lives

Recently I have taken up World of war craft at the recommendation of a friend. At first I was reluctant, I like to live in this world not another and not in one which is not real, but as I blog- which lets face it is another world, I thought I would give it a go.

I am now hooked.
I have found it to be the most compelling game ever, true it can get repetitive but it draws you in, I no longer go down to a bar for a drink with friends but instead meet those same friends in an online bar (do not fret alcohol is available beside me)
I have found it to be a very good tool for one of my favourite pastimes- people watching. In this game you get to see how people really are. You cannot do terrible things to each other player but how people play together does give you a good rundown on what they are like.

There is one fellow who I know in real life and in the game, now I knew he could be needy and a little too competitive but playing with him showed me a little more of his personality. When you play you have to work together and what did he do?
Think about nothing but himself he took everything he could and would leave us in the lurch to fight the bad guys.
All I can say after witnessing his behaviour I was glad I did not go into business with the man six months ago when he offered.
So it would seem as much as we may think of it as an escape from the world it still very much follows us in. I now wonder if they were to remove the limits on what you can do to other players what would happen. Anarchy and rampaging warlords would no doubt shatter this fantastic idyll.

Storming and norming

So i have had my blog now for a couple of months now not much has been written recently, not due to illness or work but because i cannot be bothered. At the beginning when something is new it consumes you for a while. You apply thought to it and think its great. but as time goes on the novelty wears off and you can become bored of it, hence the norming process you stop doing it and then come back to it at a pace you find more to your liking.
I am enjoying blogging so far, but it is like anything in life, you get out what you put in and i have to decide like all bloggers how much i want to put in.
I have found in blogging just how many different kinds of people there are. and it really does open your eyes to people and their ideas. People who you would think as right wing turn out to have left wing ideas and vica versa. This is a relief from the normal media channels where everything becomes polarised -usually to a so called left wing or liberal position (unless you are FOX news god or allah bless them)

Automatic for the people

Recently I watched a DVD called "stealth" now it is hokum. Enjoyable, but still hokum.
It did however raise one a question about the military pursuit of unmanned combat air vehicles (ucav).
Are we creating technology that will make it too easy for us to kill?
I remember in history of the second world war they setup the death camps because the time, cost and psychological effects on the people who did this slaughter was too high. It may seem odd to you but even the most diehard Nazi could not face the extended butchery that was carried out. And in fact when they created the death camps and the gas chambers they actually forced the Jews to do it themselves. They did this because again the effects on the people who did these tasks where high

You might think the above is a little strong but when you read how the Nazis went about it you can see they are distancing themselves as much as possible from the slaughter creating a buffer between the orders they made and the reality of the tasks. Even the language was altered into something neutral and harmless, you read some of them and you would never know they contained orders for the deaths of people.

Again a little strong but look at the language the military now uses it seems harmless beneficial even to the people on the receiving end of military hardware. Of course the military cannot be blamed for this they only react to the pressures that we put on them (and who ultimately benefit from their sacrifice with cheap oil and protection from terrorists)

Now back to the UCAVs death at a distance. We give it the orders it does them we never see the slaughter and we are separated from it killing making it more like a game. You just need the quarters. People say UCAVS will save pilots lives but that still leaves the poor bloody infantryman.

And perhaps we should have pilots who can die. Maybe we will be a little more cautious about going to war knowing our lives are at stake too.

As an extra point if we are so worried about robots taking over the world why do we insist on creating military robots?

I would like to say that the men and women who serve in the armed forces do have my respect. They have been given a thankless task in a dangerous environment and we often forget they really do want to help people and make the world safer for us.

Alcholisim

So the leader of a political party has had to resign because he is a recovering alchi. I myself drink a fair bit but as far as I know I am not an alcoholic (unless I am in denial).
Kennedy had a drink problem and his party (well those at the top not the people who actually make the party) said they could not tolerate his actions - one or two of them wants the position me thinks.

When I thought about this I compared Kennedy to other leaders.

Stalin
Genocidal egomaniac that killed more of his own people than you could think possible - I never saw his party try to put him out of power.

Margaret Thatcher
Matriarch of the conservative party. Finally done in not by Neil Kinnock but by the lesser people within her own party. Introduced some of the worst policies in the eighties leaving Britain’s industries a desolate wasteland.

Jacques Chirac
Named by the French people "super liar" for lying about everything.

President George bush
Idiot of the highest order. More interested in filling his bank balance than making the world a safer place.

Tony Blair
For supporting bush in a war without actually having something called a "plan"

When you compare the above with Kennedy it kind of puts everything thing into perspective and I wonder how much was his own top brass wanting the job and how much was actually down to his drinking problem.

xmas and new year

More inner peace was delivered than any year previously which was good.
back to work soon. Not so good.

Xmas is over. The new year is about to begin

Well here I am on my own. going down the only road I have ever known.
The xmas beast has almost been devoured, the chocolates now stain furniture. presents have been opened.
I have recieved more alcohol which is always good. Work has not called AT ALL which is a fucking miracle.
Xmas is over and it has been a good one i have been pleasntly full, pleasantly drunk, and pleasntly free of hangovers.

And now it is time for the new year.
let the binge drinking commence

Dear santa

One of my jobs at Xmas is dealing with Xmas letter overflow from our Lapland operation.
Here is one of them.

Dear Santa
My Christmas list this year is for boosted profits for Halliburton and my ascendancy to president. Also I would like that little plame affair to go away and to torture whomever I please.

Yours Dick Cheney

To: Charlie
From: Santa
Cc:
Tell this guy to fuck off. He is definitely on my winter shit list.
Can we have him killed?

To: Santa
From: Charlie
Cc:
No we cannot have him killed. It a federal offence to even say it. But we can however ensure his Xmas gift is a steaming pile of shit and perhaps an impeachment.

To: Charlie
From: Santa
Cc:
Ok I want you to de-prioritise your current items and make this your primary action item. I will send to my elves one of my steaming turds and you sort out the delivery.

Result.

Inner peace

Something I should bring to you.I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and
we could all do with a little calm.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally
found inner peace.

The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off
all the things you have started".

So I looked round the house to see all the things I had started and
hadn't finished.

And before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of
red wine, a bottle of white wine, Baileys, three Bacardi Breezers,
Jack Daniels, Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a box of
chocolates.

You have no idea how bloody good I feel.

You must pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

Bloggers block

I have to admit of recent my blog has been faltering I seem to lack focus at the moment being preoccupied with other things.
And when I come to sit down and write something nothing pops into my head, no witticisms, no political point’s, no observation on the human condition. I am to say the least a little blank in my head. So I have decided to write about the fact that i cannot seem to write anything of interest at the moment. This means i am already running out of things to write down.

Jimmy Carr had a good joke about writing a book about asking your woman if she liked anal sex it was entitled. What if she takes it the wrong way?

I feel I must somehow upgrade, or up my blogging game. But I do not know how, and have no idea what I mean by upping my game.

This is turning into a series of statements.

I think my current lack of blogging subjects is due to me not reading enough. Usually I read something that pisses me off, and then I write about it, but at the moment nothing perhaps Xmas cheer has infiltrated my brain rendering it fuzzy, and unable to think bad and pissed of thoughts. They say in paradise there would be no writers as with no injustice intolerance or war there would be nothing to really write about. I know the world is a steaming pile of poo at the moment but this Xmas brain fuzz is distorting everything. More human rights violations in countries I have never been to? Come on then despots show some Xmas spirit- oh your Muslim? My bad ho ho ho.
Maybe when they electrocute somebody who has been renditioned they can use Xmas lights instead ho ho ho!
I think my dissatisfaction is returning my glee at bush's and Blair’s failures gaining strength the Xmas fuzz is lifting!

Yes I maybe busy and full of kindness to my fellow man but some of those men are going to get my special Xmas boot up their ass!

Ho! Fucking ho!

Weight

It may be the season of giving but it is also the season for eating, already I am preparing my post Xmas exercises regimen.
What an odd thing to do. I have gotten better as I now eat less at this time of year, much more discipline. But still a lot of food and booze will be consumed.
I will consume chocolate, turkey, whiskey, more whiskey and cake. To get the weight off, I will run, cycle, and do weight lifting. An irony. To lose weight I will lift it, perhaps I should attach the turkeys, puddings etc instead of the weights.

I wish Christmas was less about consumption and more about having fun. Now I love a good meal, well prepared and with all the trimmings, where you eat until you are pleasantly full. But to often however we confuse eating and drinking excessively with a good time.

Back to the preparations

Computer bollocks

I love computers as much as i hate them. When they do what i want all is well, when they do not, well you know the story.
Much has changed since computers came into the home. But much has not. Most issues still require a long and tedious check
of everything, because you never know that by putting just one thing in caps,you can alter everything. You can run BITE etc but they only look for things that do not work. If you in your stupidity have altered something but it still works(mostly) you can be in trouble. Its a bit like if you wrote: I wander what time it is. If you ran that through spell check no issues. But you know it is the word wonder rather than wander (A note to everyone always proof read docs)

I have done this today on a very complicated bit of kit - got to get it fixed or I am in the shit.
Timtom (sc) has not noticed yet. Thankfully he knows nothing about this bit of kit , so he will not put his nose in.
Merry xmas fuckup!

Surfboards

Surfboards are dangerous and that is a fact. Turns out the foam they use inside, has various chemicals that are just not good for you(allegedly). And I thought surfers just had to worry about wiping out and the occasional shark. I wonder if this will make it a dangerous sport.

It seems strange that Clark, who made the surfboard blanks could have modernised. But the changes would have been too costly for him he alleged. He is also subject to lawsuits.
So I guess they will be made in countries that have few laws concerning the health of the employee.
And the lawsuits will rumble on leaving only one winner. The lawyer.

The Health NAZI was quite upset
Timtom (sc) tried to be cool by being upset by it


HO HO HO - Xmas cheer