The inner hysteria

What is the inner hysteria?
This is the voice or feeling I get which says I do not have enough, I am not happy enough and I am not successful enough.

What does it feel like? -Panic

When do I feel it? When I look at my next-door neighbours Evo, when I see that loving couple. When some little S$%T get a promotion I know he did not deserve.

It does not matter if I do get better things than them, it will still not be enough. The inner hysteria is never full; its endless hunger can only be subdued never killed outright.

Retail therapy can keep it at bay I have learned to buy small things to keep it happy.

But it is consuming. And I am a consumer the endless barrage of adverts tell me I need more get rid of the old buy the new.
Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new .Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new. Get rid of the old buy the new.

Here’sssssss Johnny!

And lets not forget sexual thought. What do I mean by that. Sex is being sold to me everyday in clubs in the mall on TV in magazines. This is what I hate the most in advertising an endless parade of flesh and sexual innuendo .I am not prudish or religious but I look at the women and men in those adverts and they are too perfect in fact they are, computer enhanced and edited its no wonder so many people have confidence problems.

The worse thing about it is I am aware of this and still I buy things. And always there is the doubt that I am buying it not because my free will has chosen it but because the adverts have programmed me. I guess need the psychological equivalent of spy ware and adware removal so I can be sure of my "purchasing reality"